Emotional intelligence is highly valued in today’s business world. Conscious leaders are masters at practicing it when facing pressure. They stay centered, have empathy, evaluate their options and have a directed course of action.
She was given directions and clear actions to them to complete the project on schedule when one of the men stood up, and without being aware of what was discussed the day before, he started to point out in defiance of her approach.
She froze, her emotions went up that she left the room. Another person, a man, might have fought, doing anything to prove the other person wrong, raising the voice and getting things heated in the room.
It is just one example of many situations that are happening to both, men and women in our business world when facing pressure, disagreements or defiance.
As default we tend to “Fight or Flight,” that is a reaction to the emotions that we feel at that moment, we do this unconsciously, not allowing us to think clearly and be objective about the situation.
Having emotional intelligence will help us to respond to this type of situations consciously; staying centered, we can evaluate all our options and with that awareness choosing a directed course of action.
There are four main pillars of Emotional intelligence, according to Daniel Goleman psychologist and award-winning author of Emotional Intelligence, I describe them in my own words:
- Self-Awareness: The capacity to know consciously when you are experiencing an emotion and understand why you are experiencing it.
- Self-management: The ability to consciously handle and choose your emotions in an effective way that influence decisions and behavior toward goals or responding to a circumstance.
- Empathy: The ability to understand why people behave in the way that they do and comprehend their feelings.
- Skilled relationships: It is the interplay of Self-awareness, Self-management and Empathy. It is the awareness of our emotions, the emotions of others, and consciously guide our behavior
1- Get and stay curious: As soon as you feel an emotion, or your buttons get pushed; pause, observe and ask yourself questions: “Why am I not speaking up? Where is that fear coming from?”, “What conflicts am I having with this perspective that is making me angry?”, “Why am I feeling envy towards that person?”, “Why is that person reacting towards me in that way? Wondering what’s going on?”, “Why does this is making me upset?”, "What is about this email that is bothering me so much?".
2- Centering practices: Such as meditation or mindfulness. Being in-tune with the awareness of our “mental chat” and the emotions that we feel in our body, we will be able to identify the emotions as soon as they come before they take us over and make us react so that we can consciously direct them.
In conclusion, here quick steps to start raising your Emotional Intelligence:
Our emotions are a great opportunity to raise our self-awareness so that we consciously create our success.